Fairy tales aren’t the only things that begin with once upon a time.

Once upon a time, I was a self-help virgin.

I had never read a self-help book, attended a workshop or retreat, and I didn’t know what a life coach did.

I also didn’t know who I really was, how I fit into this world, where I belonged, or what I wanted to do with my life.

I knew, however, that I wanted the answers to those questions more than anything.  I knew that I needed a dream.

I just didn’t know how or where to start.

I was the not-so love child of rejection and shame. Their DNA lurked in my every fear manifesting in the patterns that held me back and kept me stuck.

Everything that happened in my life, I viewed as proof that I wasn’t good enough.

On countless occasions, it felt like my heart was broken open, ripped from my chest, thrown on the floor and crushed into splintering crystals from which I weaved a protective cloak of shame and rejection. 

Oh how brilliantly it glittered in my mind. The bright light reflecting off those crystals blinding me from the answers I sought.

My life though seemed like an empty, dark hallway lined with innumerable doors. I was too scared to open many of those doors so I walked past quickly believing that the faster I walked, the safer I would be.

Occasionally I found the spunk to open a door. Usually because other people told me it was safe. Sometimes though, I did it on my own.

I was full-tilt grieving my miscarried baby when my husband was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. At the time, I had been a stay-at-home mom for eight years. My husband was my family’s hero providing me with a sense of safety not to mention our sole source of financial support.

Upon his diagnosis, I freaked out. My anxiety skyrocketed. My heart skewered and roasted over the flames of hell with my constant worry that we would lose everything.

I – who had played in the smallest, safest ways possible – needed to become the hero.

In a lightening bolt of awareness, one day I simply knew that the stress and worry would kill me.  I knew that the only way to survive was by living in the present moment, by letting go of the worry, stress and the horrible what if stories running through my mind.

A month later, it happened. My prayers concerning my overwhelming desire for a dream were  answered in an unexpected form, an email about life coach training. I immediately knew it was what I was meant to do. But terror struck. Pulling my glittering cloak of shame and rejection closer around me, I signed up anyway.

Intense fear popped up at every turn, so for the first time ever, I reached out for the support to help me move forward. The glitter became less blinding. The cloak morphed into a cape that I could take off at will. My confidence, my abilities, and my happiness  started to grow.

In building my practice, I found myself lost again in the blinding glitter of the cape. Working through the fear with amazing coaches, individually and in a community of love and support, I made it through.

Now the light that shines bright is my own. It is the light of living my passion. It doesn’t blind me though. It supports and guides me.

This is not the end of my story. I continue to live it each and every day. But I can say this: Although my life isn’t perfect, although I am not perfect, I live happily.

Knowing what I know now, even without knowing how the story ends, I can even say that I lived happily ever after.

If  you’re ready to breathe life back into your dream, get back to your passion, and reconnect with your own happiness, I’d love to hear from you. Drop me a line or schedule your time to have a free virtual cup of coffee with me here.

My name is Theresa Robbins. I am a certified life and career coach, midlife liberator of wayward  women and love guru. I am still married to the guy with MS. We have two boys, three dogs and a whole lot of love. I have bachelor’s degrees in business and psychology, but I am most proud of my coaching certifications. They reflect my passion for the true work I was born to do in this world.